Local man swears loudly during endless onslaught of Bachelorette related posts online
Hearts fluttered everywhere as The Bachelorette's Georgia Love declared she loved a man she had only really met some weeks before - except at John Smegle's modest outer-suburban home in Brisbane.
As the toxic combination of computerized music and Ms. Love's scripted speech tugged at heart-strings and produced waterfalls of tears in certain demographics nationwide, Mr Smegle's neighbours reported hearing the man swear "very loudly".
The colourful language, Mr Smegle said, was a result of receiving a flood of his own - seemingly endless Bachelorette propaganda on his social media news feeds.
"If I had a dollar for each of the fucks I give about this show, I'd probably have about 50 cents," Mr Smegle said.
"I am to reality television what Picasso was to art - a fucking monster.
"Free-to-air television is just a tepid wasteland of garbage reality shows, and like Picasso, I just won't stand for it."
Mr Smegle said he swore off television around the sixth time Karl Stefanovic said something vaguely offensive at breakfast, and did away with his long-term-financed television set entirely to escape the avalanche of G-rated inappropriateness.
This latest orchestrated relationship, he said, has very little chance of lasting longer than any of his own.
"Look, girls are really lovely, but I can only really afford to talk to them for about 5 hours a week," he said, as the phone lines that accommodate them cost "an extortionist amount per minute".
"I suspect their relationship will be over much faster than that."
