"Our way or the highway": Apple removes microphone from upcoming iPhone

Apple introduced their new iPhone to the world yesterday to a muted market response - mostly because no one could hear the market. Along with the removal of the standard 3.5mm headphone jack - an innovation that reportedly dates back to 1878 - Apple now says it's "trimming the fat" and moving ahead with the removal of the microphone too.

"At Apple, our mantra has always been to design devices that just work - with other Apple devices," says Apple CEO Tim Cook.

"Removing the headphone jack and replacing it with an unnecessary proprietary connector - one that we make money off - means that headphone makers will now have to feed our bottom line while designing headphones that can only work with Apple devices.

"If that's not innovation and profit margin enrichment in the face of flagging sales, I don't know what is."

Cook says this iPhone is "the most exciting yet," and now with the removal of the microphone, no one will be able to say otherwise.

"Do you think this is a game n****? It's our way or the highway," he says.

"Leaving the floppy behind; removing the DVD drive - both sensible moves, but they didn't make us anything.

"This time I really get to prove myself in the massive shadow of actual innovation Steve (Jobs) left behind."

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